Mondays? Even suck at seminary.

You ever have one of those days?

You know the ones – you’ve got 9 hours of class (or work or childcare), you don’t have the right pants, the dog is bitter, the coffee is weak. A friend looks at you the wrong way and you’re sure it’s because you’ve done some unspeakable evil that you can’t remember, you say something that wasn’t quite as brilliant as you’d like, and follow it up with a binge of cigarettes/too much ice cream/booze/illegal substances or meaningless sex.

Yeah, you know those days. I just had one.

A few things I try to remind myself on these days:

1. The world does not revolve around me.
2. Nine hours of class plus little time for self-care would make Spock cranky.
3. What other people think of me (or what I might think they think, which is even more fun) is none of my business, (though it is my favorite hobby.)
4. Right when I think I have control in my life, god/spirit/celestial wonder dog is having a good laugh.
5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the cure for all ills.

As I am in seminary I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you further deep spiritual insights I’ve had about all of this, but, I’m too darn tired.

So, that leads us to the fun Bible fact I learned today:  testimony is related to the word testicles; apparently, since ancient folk couldn’t swear on the Bible (as it wasn’t quite written yet), men would swear on their testicles. This custom is mentioned in the Old Testament. In the King James translation, the passage reads, "And Abraham said: 'unto his eldest servant of his house... Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear...’”

Which of course led to one of my super-cool female seminarian friends to say: “Maybe we should just say ‘breastify.’”

It’s the little things like this that bring me closer to the divine…